Khmer Boyfriends

After being here for approximately 7.5 months, I’ve made some observations regarding the Khmer male gender and the perceived pros and cons of being in a relationship with one. (Disclaimer: this does not mean I am dating a host country national, by any means!)

Pros

• He can scale coconut/palm/mango/whatever trees like nobody’s business. (+1 manly points)
• He will never look stupid with a knife, whether it’s whittling a new slingshot or cutting your mangoes/coconuts/papayas/etc for you.
• Master rice harvester. Most of these kids grow up harvesting rice, so chances are your Khmer boyfriend can put all modern American men to shame in the field of rice harvesting.
• He is an expert at maneuvering through traffic jams. Khmer in general don’t really care if they’re on the right side, wrong side, or even sideways on the road, they know how to weasel their way through any bottleneck to get where they are going. Khmer men are much better at doing this than Khmer females, though.
• Dog/goat/cow/pig/chicken tamer. Renegade rabid dog come chasing after you? Don’t worry. Khmer men know just the right rock to throw or the right sound to make to have that dog running whimpering back to its mama.
• Bird/flying insect/spider/snake killer. My brother walks around constantly with a slingshot tucked into his back pocket, and during Chinese new year he shot down a wild bird, and within seconds he was de-feathering then de-gutting the animal, fully prepared to cook it for eatin’. They don’t fear large, palm-sized insects that many American men do, and will actually gladly cup said palm-sized insect in their hands and carry it away from your personal space. And of course, there is the metal-spike-through-the-snake’s-jugular maneuver. Of course.

Cons

• He will probably beat you. I haven’t personally witnessed domestic violence, but several other volunteers have.
• Drinks maybe just a little bit too much. (Case in point: my host father) Lightweight.
• Will never be on time for anything, because the Khmer sense of time is very fluid (not just for males).
• He will not know how to talk to you. Since most boys spend their adolescent and teenage years being touchy feely with their male friends the way most American teenagers are touchy feely with their first boyfriends, they don’t have any experience with the opposite sex and interactions will most likely just be back and forth awkward giggling.
• There is a very high chance he smokes, too. (Could be a con, depending on who you are).
• He will expect you to do all the housework. Cooking, cleaning, laundry. But it might be a small price to pay if you, your household, and your personal vicinity are forever free of rabid dogs, unwanted insects, menacing reptiles, and other unsightly and slightly dangerous things.

So please, date Khmer at your own risk. If you prize the ability to climb trees above all else (let’s be real, who wouldn’t?) and are willing to trade a little friendly domestic violence for it, then by all means. I’m even willing to play matchmaker!